It is 2:30 am on a work night, and I am up doing laundry and writing this blog post. What gives?
I use to be the best sleeper--as soon as my head hit the pillow I would be knocked out. I could even sleep with the tv on. Insomniacs would be so jealous. Now, not so much...
I guess I must've went to bed too early--like, before 9 pm (yeah, that's early for me). I don't know...but now I have been up since before 2 am. However, I think the real reason is this new medication that I am on. Ever since I've started taking it about 3 weeks ago my sleep pattern has been so irratic: it would be either too hard for me to get to sleep, or I would go to sleep and wake up several times in the night, or both.
In the past, I would try to take a Benadryl to help me sleep. It doesn't work so well anymore...
I learned in pharmacy school that when having trouble sleeping, it is best to try to practice good "sleep hygiene" before trying any prescription medications. This included not drinking caffeine or working out close to bedtime, not reading or doing any other activities except for sleeping and love-making in the bed, and some other things that I cannot recall right at this moment.
That is why I am in the living room writing this post right now. I am also trying not to disurb my husband (which I probably did anyway because, well, who does laundry in the middle of the night? Oops...).
I guess it might be time to suck it up and ask my doctor for some Ambien.
Do you have trouble sleeping? If so, what strategies have you tried, if any?
Tuesday, February 21, 2012
Wednesday, February 15, 2012
The Death of Whitney Houston
I found out about the pop legend's death while on a Valentine's dinner date with my husband: my brother had sent a text message with the bad news, and I almost choked on my appetizer! The news was very heavy on my heart, and I just had to tell someone else. While I saw everyone laughing and having a good time I wanted to stand up and scream, "Excuse me...can I have everyone's attention, please? Whitney Houston just died. You may now carry on with your dinner." Luckly, I'd decided not to spoil every else's evening...
Whitney Houston was always one of my favorite artists. Every since the first time I heard her single, "I Wanna Dance with Somebody (Who Loves Me)"--I must've been about 5 years old--I knew I loved her as an artist. Practically every song that she put out before and after that have been a hit. To name a few: "How Will I Know," "Saving All My Love for You," and, the classic, "I Will Always Love You" from The Bodyguard soundtrack.
Speaking of The Bodyguard, Whitney was also a pretty descent actress. I've never seen the movie, but I did see her in Waiting to Exhale, and her performance was greater than amateur. Prior to death, she was also to produce and star in a remake of the 1976 movie Sparkle.
It is now coming out that the singer died from a deadly combination of Xanax and other prescription drugs and alcohol. Judging from her turbulent battle with drugs and alcohol while married to Bobby Brown, this is not a huge shocker. And, while I was deeply saddened by the news of her passing, I was definitely not surprised.
Since her death, I have been hearing a lot of her songs on the radio in the car, on Pandora at work, etc. Every time I hear her beautiful voice I say to myself, "Why, Whitney, WHY?!"
Maybe I'll make a point to see The Bodyguard now...
Were you shocked by Whitney's death? What are some of your favorite songs of hers?
Whitney Houston was always one of my favorite artists. Every since the first time I heard her single, "I Wanna Dance with Somebody (Who Loves Me)"--I must've been about 5 years old--I knew I loved her as an artist. Practically every song that she put out before and after that have been a hit. To name a few: "How Will I Know," "Saving All My Love for You," and, the classic, "I Will Always Love You" from The Bodyguard soundtrack.
Speaking of The Bodyguard, Whitney was also a pretty descent actress. I've never seen the movie, but I did see her in Waiting to Exhale, and her performance was greater than amateur. Prior to death, she was also to produce and star in a remake of the 1976 movie Sparkle.
It is now coming out that the singer died from a deadly combination of Xanax and other prescription drugs and alcohol. Judging from her turbulent battle with drugs and alcohol while married to Bobby Brown, this is not a huge shocker. And, while I was deeply saddened by the news of her passing, I was definitely not surprised.
Since her death, I have been hearing a lot of her songs on the radio in the car, on Pandora at work, etc. Every time I hear her beautiful voice I say to myself, "Why, Whitney, WHY?!"
Maybe I'll make a point to see The Bodyguard now...
Were you shocked by Whitney's death? What are some of your favorite songs of hers?
Sunday, February 12, 2012
Having Depression
On the night of February 1st, 2012, I was admitted into the ER for two suicide attempts--yes, I said two. The night before that I had ingested 10 cyclobenzaprine tablets and chased it with a full glass of vodka after having an embarrassing confrontation with one of my co-workers. When I woke up the next morning I was disappointed, but I slept all day--my husband even took off of work to take care of me.
That next night, when I became sober and alert, I was looking for more drugs and alcohol to take myself out with. That is when I figured out that my husband had hid all of my drugs and alcohol; however, I had some samples of aripiprazole that my new psychiatrist had given me, and I had it in my purse. Still in suicidal mode, I took all seven of the 2 mg pills (even though I knew that it wouldn't kill me--it was all I had). This is when I realied that I needed help. I told my husband, and he called EMS, who transported me into the ER that night. I was admitted into the psychiatric ward the following afternoon.
This is not the first time that this has happened. As a matter of fact, I had been battling depression, anxiety, and suicidal ideation as long as I can remember; however, I have only been treated for it recently. Being verbally abused by family members, peers, and teachers would make anyone depressed. Not to mention that I was called ugly on a daily basis from elementary school all the way through high school. An abusive relationship during college is what landed me into the psych ward for the first time.
Along with depression comes anxiety and irritability. I've noticed having anxiety problems as a child. I would get easily upset if a "friend" left me out of something or said something that I didn't like, which caused me to ruin friendships and make my peers dislike me.
Because of the abuse and disrespect that I had experienced when I was young, I am overly sensitive and defensive when I perceive someone is disrespecting me (perceive being the opporative word of the sentence). Since I did not stand up for myself like I should have back then, I tend to overcompensate and get outrageously upset if I feel like someone is being nasty toward me or is criticizing me. I have a tendency to act--or react--immaturely by cussing or name-calling because I did not get the chance to defend myself as a child. I have been seeing a counselor to work on this part of myself.
My depression took a turn for the worst after the birth of my first child. It seems that everything just kinda spun out of control. I started drinking more, and my marriage started falling apart. That is when I finally got treated. I was stable on my medications for a couple of years, until after I had my second child. I gave up taking one of my meds so that I could breastfeed--that did not work out. After a month, I was put back on it and had to stop breastfeeding. After that, things have kinda been "out-of-wack."
People who are depressed are not crazy--they are people who just want to be understood and loved for who they are, good or bad. The people I have met during my recent hospital stay are a few of the sweetest, nicest, most caring and generous people that I have ever met. Although I was ready to go home, I enjoyed the time I have spent with those people. Because we were experiencing similar disorders, we all understood where each other were coming from, and we were at a place where we could be ourselves without being judged. Being around people just like yourself who understand what you are going through, especially when you think the world has turned its back on you because of the baggage that comes with being depressed, is a good feeling.
Right now I feel great. I feel like I am in control again, and hopefully, I won't have to experience another episode like that again...
That next night, when I became sober and alert, I was looking for more drugs and alcohol to take myself out with. That is when I figured out that my husband had hid all of my drugs and alcohol; however, I had some samples of aripiprazole that my new psychiatrist had given me, and I had it in my purse. Still in suicidal mode, I took all seven of the 2 mg pills (even though I knew that it wouldn't kill me--it was all I had). This is when I realied that I needed help. I told my husband, and he called EMS, who transported me into the ER that night. I was admitted into the psychiatric ward the following afternoon.
This is not the first time that this has happened. As a matter of fact, I had been battling depression, anxiety, and suicidal ideation as long as I can remember; however, I have only been treated for it recently. Being verbally abused by family members, peers, and teachers would make anyone depressed. Not to mention that I was called ugly on a daily basis from elementary school all the way through high school. An abusive relationship during college is what landed me into the psych ward for the first time.
Along with depression comes anxiety and irritability. I've noticed having anxiety problems as a child. I would get easily upset if a "friend" left me out of something or said something that I didn't like, which caused me to ruin friendships and make my peers dislike me.
Because of the abuse and disrespect that I had experienced when I was young, I am overly sensitive and defensive when I perceive someone is disrespecting me (perceive being the opporative word of the sentence). Since I did not stand up for myself like I should have back then, I tend to overcompensate and get outrageously upset if I feel like someone is being nasty toward me or is criticizing me. I have a tendency to act--or react--immaturely by cussing or name-calling because I did not get the chance to defend myself as a child. I have been seeing a counselor to work on this part of myself.
My depression took a turn for the worst after the birth of my first child. It seems that everything just kinda spun out of control. I started drinking more, and my marriage started falling apart. That is when I finally got treated. I was stable on my medications for a couple of years, until after I had my second child. I gave up taking one of my meds so that I could breastfeed--that did not work out. After a month, I was put back on it and had to stop breastfeeding. After that, things have kinda been "out-of-wack."
People who are depressed are not crazy--they are people who just want to be understood and loved for who they are, good or bad. The people I have met during my recent hospital stay are a few of the sweetest, nicest, most caring and generous people that I have ever met. Although I was ready to go home, I enjoyed the time I have spent with those people. Because we were experiencing similar disorders, we all understood where each other were coming from, and we were at a place where we could be ourselves without being judged. Being around people just like yourself who understand what you are going through, especially when you think the world has turned its back on you because of the baggage that comes with being depressed, is a good feeling.
Right now I feel great. I feel like I am in control again, and hopefully, I won't have to experience another episode like that again...
Thursday, February 9, 2012
Bullying
image via www.wikipedia.org
An African American teen in Washington State was awarded $100,000 from his school district for the years of racist and homophobic bullying he endured in middle school and high school. When he complained went to school officials, they did little, if anything, to help him.
Since the suicide of many bullied teens have been thrust into the media spotlight, bulling has been a major issue in recent years. Being bullied myself, I think this sets a great precedent for other school systems to do more to protect their students from this type of abuse.
Speaking personally, bullying leaves a lasting, negative impression on the individual and leads them to despair. I even attempted suicide myself in middle school because of constant harassment and bullying. I never reached out to anyone, not even school officials, because I didn't think they would care; however, now I wish that I did trust someone with the anguish I felt as a kid.
I think that this settlement is good because it shows that school officials should be held responsible for making sure their students are safe. If someone is telling them that they are being bullied, especially at the extent that this particular teen was bullied, they should do whatever it takes to put a stop to it, even if it means punishing the bullies if they do not stop. If school officials choose to twiddle their thumbs on the subject, they should be punished as well.
Have you been bullied or witnessed someone being bullied? What did you do?
Birth Control Mandate
image via http://www.pharmacynewsflash.com/
Apparently, there is this huge debate on the Obama administration requiring insurance companies to cover birth control methods. Catholics, Republicans, and conservatives are up in arms over the situation, calling it "an unambiguous attack on religious freedom."
Ok, I am Catholic, but I am a moderate. I see nothing wrong with mandating that insurance companies cover birth control. As a matter of fact, it would be cheaper for everyone than raising a child. If conservatives want to help raise unwanted babies because women could not afford their birth control, be my guest.
Which bring me to my next point: conservatives are so anti-welfare and anti-abortion, but they don't want people to have the resources to prevent themselves from being in that situation, i.e. free birth control. Does that sound irrational to anyone else besides me? I, too, am pro-life, but I am not anti-contraception (does that make sense: anti-against conception?). I don't under stand why conservatives are so against insurance companies covering birth control. It's not like anyone is forcing them to get it; but, let the people who want to to prevent unwanted pregnancies have that opportunity if they can't otherwise afford it.
What do you think about this mandate: should insurance companies be required to cover contraceptive methods?
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